Prayer Killer #2: Not Honoring Your Spouse

By Alex Anderson, Senior Associate Pastor at Bayside Community Church

Not Honoring Your SpouseYou know what would really be nice? If you (my friends and readers) would send me more of your stories of pain and failure; then I could use your stories and not have to always use mine. (smile)

Many years ago, I went into business with a person who, from every angle, looked legit. (You already know where this is going.) My wife, who is a brilliant woman, and who had left a career in a stock brokerage firm to homeschool our three small children, said, “Honey, I know we’ve looked at this opportunity from every angle and it seems good, but I just don’t have a peace about doing it.”

To which, I replied, “Honey, that’s just because you don’t know much about this type of business. It’s gonna be amazing. You just wait and see.”

I was right on both accounts. It was amazing and a sight to see…a spectacular screw-up…a hundred-thousand-dollar disaster.

My remarkable wife never said, “I told you so.”  I’m sure she thought about it though, maybe a hundred thousand times.

I once heard someone say, “If you think education is expensive, you should try stupidity.”

What a stupid and expensive lesson.

But looking back now (hindsight is 20/20, you know)…I could have easily avoided this expensive mistake if I had just followed the advice of one simple verse in the Bible.

And here it is.

In the same way, you husbands must give honor to your wives. Treat your wife with understanding as you live together. She may be weaker than you are, but she is your equal partner in God’s gift of new life. Treat her as you should so your prayers will not be hindered. 1Peter 3:7 NLT

On the surface this verse looks like it’s just telling husbands to be nice to their sweet “little wives.” But under the surface, this often misunderstood verse has the tremendous power to make your dreams come true.

It may sound like one of those late night infomercials, but the power contained in the promise of this one verse (if you are both Christ-followers) can transform your life in so many ways.

So let’s jump into it and see how far we get.

First of all this verse is not only talking to husbands, but is talking to both spouses when it comes to the dynamic life-changing principle I’m about to share. So read it as a spouse not as a husband or wife.

The first line of the verse reads in the Greek (the original language): “…husbands dwell with them according to knowledge…” In other words, “Spouse, learn from experience how special and unique God made your spouse and more importantly how the person of the Holy Spirit speaks through them. (Some of you already know where this is going because you are already enjoying the benefits.)

God will use His ability to communicate to you through your spouse, if you will learn to listen. And that alone could have saved me big bucks.

The second part of this power-packed verse is found in these words, again from the Greek: “…rendering honor as the joint-heir of the Grace of Life…”.

The Lord God in His infinite wisdom sees a married couple as a two parts of a three-part unit (the husband, the wife and Holy Spirit). God resides to a degree inside of every Christ-follower.

So when a wife wants to buy a new car and begins to think about car options, color, style, price etc…Holy Spirit knows her thoughts and ideas. If she prays and asks Him what He thinks, He will begin to reveal to her mind ideas that maybe she had not thought. If she asks her husband what he thinks and he also prays and asks Holy Spirit, then you have the three working together to provide answers and solutions.

And since one of the three is God’s Holy Spirit, and since He knows a lot more than most and is allowed to help us, then both husband and wife can have a peace in their heart from Holy Spirit that a decision has been thoroughly explored and now can be made. This makes the odds of success go through the ceiling.

Obviously I did not do this with my decision.

There are two more vitally important parts to share, but we are out of article space.

However, you can read the rest of this lesson by going to and signing up for my weekly lessons. (They are free.)

To your spiritual health,
Pastor Alex Anderson
Author, Dangerous Prayers

Check Also

Ellen Hofmann, pictured with her husband Gerhard, enjoys an active lifestyle following carotid artery surgery and minimally invasive heart valve surgery with Venice Regional’s heart team.

Venice Woman Regains Active Lifestyle After Carotid, Heart Valve Surgeries

By Heidi Smith, Contributor Ellen Hofmann already knew she had a heart condition, so when …